We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
