I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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