But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
