He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
