We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
