she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
