My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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