he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize