I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
