Me too!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
