I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
