god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
