i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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