i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
