i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
