Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
