Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
