Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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