Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
