How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
