Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
