Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
