no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
