That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i drank out of a bidet.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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