Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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