I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
last night I used snow as a chaser
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
