her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
