True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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