i barfeds in our rink
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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