why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
