He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
