...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
