call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
