I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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