Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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