A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
only you would photoshop your dick
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
