Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
