Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you had me at cake vodka
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
