yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
