Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
