I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize