But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
