I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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