Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize