wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
