I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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