the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
