erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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