I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
