last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
