I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
