Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My life is pants optional.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
