She's JV to your varsity
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
