Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
