Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
People in love make me want to vomit
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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