my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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