I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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