Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I believe in your delicious
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
