was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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