I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The adults are the big ones right?
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