okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When are your genitals available?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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