do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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