Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
