i don't like sucking hair
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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