I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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