he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
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