Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Come on in and take your pants off
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