how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize