I'm eating all of the evidence.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize