I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
