His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize