I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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