Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
